our brush with thrush

in the past my other kids have had thrush and contrary to popular belief thrush is not caused by a dog kissing your face - we dont have pets! Anyway...it was never painful for me when the baby would have thrush...well this time was different. i guess since the baby was in the nicu and had antibiotics and i thought i was getting mastitis a week later i took antibiotics as well. that just escalated the thrush. it was so bad that my nipples were cracked and bleeding and it looked like chucks were missing. heres what i did for it. most strains are resistant to nystain. and both baby and mom need to be treated no matter who has and doesnt have the symptoms. the baby had nystatin and it worked for him and i used monistat. with the monistat you need to buy the 2%. then they started to bleed and so my dr. prescribed bactroban. it is also a cream to speed up the healing process. this worked for us. neither cream need to be wiped off prior to nursing. wiping off may cause further damage. put it on after nursing. i also would rinse my breasts after each nursing and let them air dry and then put the creams on. i write this so that anyone in the future who may have this can be informed. :) happy nursing!!!

society has made it where if u have a big family or want a big family everyone says nyour crazyn. i will say that with my pregnancy with marek this was confirmed. people i respected gave me the hardest time. it broke my heart to hear things like youre crazy or when i told them their tone and fake congrats just really tore me up inside. or they would ask r u done after this one and when i say probably and they ask y and we say our reasons they say well you should of thought about that before this one. so many daggers were thrown at me and i learned that people are people. and people are mean. respecta for people went out the door and i had to learn to let it go and forgive and move on. its a hard lesson to learn but it only helps me grow. i learned to appreciate the good responses we got when we shared our news. my favorite was my dad. with a big smile on his face he was happy and said you make me feel old. i write this because i learned to apprecite so much in this pregnancy. life is a gift. i learned to appreciate those who love our family no matter the size. just because something is hard or someone is having a hard time doesnt give u the right to bash them. we are supposed to encourage each other on this journey. my advice to you...you never know the impact of your words...choose them carefully...you can never take them back. and so i will continue to cuddle my sweet boy. hide these lessons learned in my heart. toxic comments will not take me captive. but the joy of the lord...that is what i want to pass on.

2011 here and gone...recap recap

As I entered 2011 I was entering my 30th birthday. Jan brought me 69lbs thinner and a wonderful b-day bash put on by dear friends and family. I am blessed to be loved so much by so many people. It was a night to remember that I will never forget. I rode in a Hot Rod in a form fitting dress. My make up was done and hair was done. I felt like a princess!!! Thank you to those that made that night so special. One memory I dont think I will ever forget..first some background. When I was 9 my mom remarried a man who has 2 sons (theyre still married). I spent most of my life trying to get them to love me and accept me as their sister. Though I havent pursued that for a long time, it was heart breaking. You can never earn love from someone they have to be willing to love you for who you are. I never was and never will be accepted as a sister to them, I am the evil step-sister and to that I am fine with. The awesome thing is that God knows the desires of my heart. He blessed me with 2 brothers. On the night of my bday bash I heard words I have been longing to hear for so many years. My brother in law Nathan gave me a hug told me he loved me and called me sis. Music to my ears and peace to my soul. When you spend so many years and nothing in return only to have someone fulfill those dreams, words cannot express. Needless to say my other brother in law also tells me the same thing and I am truly blessed. I will never forget that night. I love my Na Na and Mattmu!!! So we ate and danced and enjoyed ourselves!!! What a wonderful night!!!
As March drew near my husband surprised me with a cruise to Hawaii for my birthday. He worked out all the babysitting and plans. What a beautiful time we had. He means the world to me and again God knows the desires of my heart when he brought my hubby into my life. Though most thought he was scary, eventually he was all mine. :) He humors me, comforts me, loves me unconditionally, washes me in the Word. He is a picture of Christ to me, and to that is irreplaceable and beautiful, again words cannot describe.
We then became pregnant with our 5th child. It breaks my heart to say that so many babies in the last few months of 2010 and the year of 2011 left their parents and went to heaven. The world says miscarried, but to me they are precious babies in Jesus' arms. So as our baby grew and lived I know he is special and that God has a special plan for him. For some reason God allowed our baby to live. We found he was a boy and mt kids could not have been more exciting. Christian was exceptionally excited. He made many lego projects and other projects for Marek as decorations. He talked about the sharing rooms and playing. I love it!
We also gave up the fight for our condo in March. For about 3 years and with 2 different companies asked for help so we could keep it. No one would help us. We even appealed and still no help. We are still here and God will move us on in His timing.
Summer came and went. We went to the beach and played with friends. The kids took swim lessons and loved it. We celebrated Christians 5th birthday and Hannahbelles 2nd birthday with family and friends. We also went to the Del Mar Fair as a family and then I stayed for the 3rd annual Switchfoot concert with a couple of friends.
This year was tough for Erics family as his grandfather passed away. It was a sad time. Eric spoke at his Memorial Service and his Military Funeral. He was close to him. His grandfather is greatly missed.
As winter ( I say that lightly as we dont really get a winter here) approaches we were eagerly awaiting the birth of our baby. We also thought we were moving in Oct. God extended it and thus we havent moved yet and it is a blessing. We started schooling again, Awanas started again and we adjusted to Eric's new work schedule.
Ah and then December comes. What a month for our family. So many unexpected things happened. My husband ended up in the E.R. and then in emergency surgery about 1.5 weeks later. Moriah turned 7 years old. Then our sweet baby was born on December 26th at 10:28 pm. he was born in his sac completley. he is beautiful. he is the perfect addition to our family. we love him so much. he is a blessing in so many ways. He then was in the NICU. We celebrated New Year's Eve in the NICU but thankful that our baby was healthy and that nothing was wrong with him.
Now we look to a new year. full of many blessings.

Our Party in the NICU

At Marek's well baby check up on Dec 29th our Dr. thought his chest was retracting. He said if it doesnt clear up in 24 hours then to call and he would send us to Childrens. He thought it might be amniotic fluid in his lungs. So it didnt clear up so we went to Childrens ER. They did a chest x-ray, blood tests, virus test, and ultrasound/echo. They though the x-ray looked hazy in his lungs so they admitted us to the NICU. When we got to the NICU they said he was not retracting but that he has Pectus. Basically his chest structure is deeper than most. If he was retracting then it would look like he was struggling to breathe. But since the ER dr said the ex-ray was hazy that they were treating him for Pnemonia. He was not showing any signs of pnemonia but it was preventative. Since heart disease was rulled out earlier on it was either pnemonia or amniotic fluid. They said at minimum we would be there 48hrs from when the meds were given. First they had to have more tests. They grew his blood, tried to cathereter out some urine but he had just peed so they couldnt get any out, gave him a heploc for the meds. At about 6pm they finally started his meds. So we were in ER all day and then had to stay in NICU for at least 48 more hours. We asked to be transferred to another part of the NICU for less intesive care. In the room we were in we could not sleep in the room. So I would of had to sleep in the waiting room and come back every 2-3 hours to nurse. They did transfer us to a shared room but we could sleep in the room with him. At that point that is all I cared about. So we got to our room and got barely any sleep that first night. The next day which was sat. a Dr came in and said that the x-ray was not hazy, it had streaks but was not hazy. However, he wanted us to finish out the meds. Im sure the look on my face was interesting. Whats funny is he came in while I was nursing and he said can I come in? I said oh yeah come in, 5 kids later all modesty goes out the door and that he was a Dr. not some stranger off the street. He laughed. We really tried to make the most of our situation. We were blessed because we would only be there another day and get to bring our baby home. Most parents in the NICU dont get to bring their baby home. Our night nurse was kicked back and our daytime nurse was fresh out of grad school. She was a Christian which was a huge blessing to us. So needless to say we partied (not really) in the NICU for a few days and left. I did wake up at midnight on New Year's Eve to nurse, I kissed my hubby and said Happy New Year, nursed and we went back to (bed). The sleeping places were not comfortable but we were able to sleep a little both nights. The second night we got more sleep than the first night. So Sunday night we were discharged with a clean bill of health for our sweet boy. He did so well in the NICU. We are truly blessed and all I know is it happened for a reason I may never know of. Thank you Jesus for watching out for our sweet boy!

Marek's Birth Story

Marek’s Birth Story

At 4 am on December 26^th 2011 my water broke. So we called Best Start Birth Center and we went down. I figured I would start contracting within the half hour. We got there and still no contractions. So they tested and made sure it was my water that broke and did a non-stress test. Yep, definitely my water but no contractions. So we came home to wait it out. I took a nap and then went on a walk with my mom and a drive. Still nothing, so we came back and hung out with the family. Then I started to contract. I was finally in early labor. We laid the kids down to bed around 7pm and at about 830pm they stated to get closer and more intense. So at 9pm they were close and intense. They were 6min to 4 minutes apart. So we called and went to the Birth Center again. We arrived and I didn’t tell anyone I was there I just went upstairs where I knew we would be going to give birth. I laid on the bed. The older 2 kids followed us in but my mom was downstairs with the younger 2 kids. I immediately grabbed Eric’s shorts and would not let him go. Eventually my mom figured out Eric was not coming back down and got the younger 2 kids upstairs. I knew he was coming quickly. The midwife came and checked me and I was 4-5cm. In my mind I thought that’s it! But she said the next part will go fast. She left and about a minute later I knew he was right there ready to come. So my mom had to go find her and she eventually came back. I was thinking Eric might be delivering this one if she didn’t come up fast enough. I had no contractions in my tummy just in my pelvis, legs and back. So opening my legs so he could come out was so painful. He came out at 10:28pm. He was born in his sac completely. The part that broke was the outer sac. They had to cut a hole in his sac so he could breathe. So real labor was 1.5 hours. It was fast which is what I was praying for! He is a beautiful and precious addition to our household.